December 2010
there are no coincidences.
i will find you..
in my private time
i focus on the future
integrating present and past.
all sides.
i want to become one.
when i am with you, i am working on the present..
the present is where i am at. right now, always.
work is hard.
holy fuck.
a lot can happen in a day
and now that i’ve dreampt the future,
i can value what i have, make it last.
ahhhhhhhhhh…
sigh of relief! XD
i feel better now.
john
youuu arree soo beeeaauuuuuuuuutiiifuuuullll too meeeeeeee~
i want shnuggles..
come over.
i know you read this.
do it.
infinite ♥
what's missing?
there’s something missing in what i’ve got, it might be me, but it might not.
i’m not quite sure what’s going on, but i feel so terribly trepidatious about giving you my love and giving into yours.. for some reason i don’t want to.
idk if it’s a trust issue or something else that’s built up, but it’s bothering the shit out of me..
i love you so...
i personally enjoy
this process.. crying to the point of puking is really a good thing.
feeling more than ever everything i suppressed with drugs, cutting, alcohol
makes me just want to feel more and more of it.
all myself is coming up and out and into me
yay
i finally came last night for the first time in over 7 months and oh it was spectacular.
the subconscious speaks
… and suddenly it started a chain reaction. i began picturing all the significant bodies i’d pleasured myself to, trailing lines and fleshy curves of lovers who’s love was more than enough.
weak at the knees, bombarded by daunting needs, i realized my body was screaming for sex. …
the only way i can think of
to express these trapped emotions for you from so far away is to animate the only love letter i’ve ever written. it may take years, but i will do it. i will send it to you, and you will see.
this isn’t for you, this is for me.
tumblr is boring
who wants to build a fort or do something creative with me?
i don’t have tits and i don’t have breasts,
i don’t have boobs, i just have a chest
with a heart and a soul attached to that
all you boys think of flesh, sex, and fun
all you girls think of how to make the boys cum
in your mouth, on your face,
in your body, just disgrace.
cause it’s all about attention,
not a bit about affection
not a bit about truth
not a bit...
all good things require hard work.
winter solstice ceremony
took me so high, other people had to bring me back down.
walk into a bar
no heads will turn.
go to the bar.
get a drink.
drink it in silence.
people watch.
leave.
